There are some conditions necessary for creation of harmonious family. One of them says: never reproach a man. Few women manage to realise this rule. Very often you can hear or utter such phrases: «If not you, I would not quit institute (leave from work; quarrel with mum; buy this cheap dress …)» Though if to tell fairly, he did not force you being discharged from office or making a grandiose scandal with your loved mummy.
Each of us has bases to suspect that exactly men aggravate our problems with their actions or, on the contrary, inactivity. Possibly, in general, this is truth. But for the sake of objectivity, we should notice that we are guilty almost in all not realized dreams and plans, and reproaches to our men are unreasonable, dictated by desire to justify or appear in a role of an innocent victim.
Many of us constantly complain about destiny, representing a walking encyclopaedia of various “pigs might fly if they had wings”. Hardly stay in a society of such woman will give pleasure to a man, especially, at the every minute reference to him.
Indirect charges
Ladies who shift responsibility for all failures on men, use diversified tactical receptions. Some of them, considering themselves wise and artful, do not go to a frontal attack, fall to level of obvious reproaches, especially, insults to men, such as «hopeless egoist», «finished loser», «awful miser», etc. They operate in more refined way: make rows «I would go to theatre, but have nothing to put on», recite monologues «Sonya’s husband is so great!.», show photos of girlfriends from a series «Rest in Swiss Alpes» etc.
It is clear that though a man does not hear: «If not you …», - he perfectly understands what a woman wished to tell him. If not him, that is with other husband, she would become a theatre-goer and change dresses in conformity with colour of stones in ornaments, live a life of Riley, that is as her girl-friend with her husband-banker, travel all year long from islands to continents and back …
All these ladies’ “performances” are directed on inspiring a husband, and more often – themselves, that a woman completely entrusts her destiny to her mister, and together with it whole responsibility for her cloudless happiness, by all means including also monetary abundance.
There is no «innocent half»
Even when, apparently, a conflict occurred because of a man, a woman should recognise a part of her fault. However, few of us can define and bear a part of fault. Big courage and a certain original humility are required for this purpose.
It is clear that it is difficult to consider yourself guilty, for example, in husband’s infidelity, in his alcohol abuse. Therefore the most widespread female reaction – angry accusatory protest. Usually a woman starts rushing uneasily, becomes angry, does not wish to see the truth. It would be desirable to justify yourself by all means, lay the blame on a man, and the main thing – to prove that «I am innocent». It is only his fault. And there is no doubt in it.
Here this “treacherous” requirement for self-justification also gives a woman out. Obvious attempts of self-justification testify only that at heart a woman still considers herself guilty. There is a certain voice which repeats it and does not leave her alone.
It is sad, but all the same you should agree with a wise statement: «When we met our enemies, it appeared that we are these enemies».
Do not eat your heart out
So you should not blame man in everything, and also do not be engaged in self-flagellation, develop an inferiority complex, make a chronic unlucky person of yourself. In such case a woman incurs all responsibility for strokes of bad luck and accepts them resignedly: «It is my fault; It would not happen, if I …».
Never consider time difficulties as definitive defeat, a sure sign that «destiny is bad» because of my man. Woman and happiness are compatible concepts. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
Wasting forces for charges of associates – a barren scheme
We often have an impression, as if we suffer failures because of someone. Therefore, when there is a necessity to search for real ways of problem solution, we waste time and nerves to find a guilty one and «drive him into the corner» at any cost. And, apparently, we feel better then. Danger of such installation is that we forget about basic value of failure: we should take lessons from it. Aspiration to blame others only undermines our efforts to way from failure to success.
Sad prospect
Under no circumstances think that someone operates your life, even if he is your spouse. «Allowing others changing your life for you, means allowing a waiter eating your dinner». If you sincerely consider that problems appear in front of you due to a man, the conclusion is clear. Yes, this is termination of relations, divorce. Otherwise your life will become intolerable.
Such movement downwards can be predicted, without addressing to astrologists and fortunetellers: reproaches to a man – relation to life as to something not giving in to control – feeling a victim of circumstances – full hopelessness …
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar